Like Mother, Like Daughter
Today it dawned on me like never before how the things that are most important to me in life very much reflect the aspirations of my Mother. My Mum Julia passed on from this life seven years ago at the young age of 58. I loved my Mum very much and as a daughter I felt very close to her, but at times since her passing I’ve wondered how much I really knew or understood her as a woman. I mean as an individual without the roles and responsibilities that come with raising a family. Who was my mother really with out all of this?
This is a question that perhaps we don’t think to ask about our parents. As children (no matter what our age) many of us experience our parents as perpetual helpers or support mechanisms for our own lives, as opposed to individuals with their own interests and goals to pursue.
It’s only recently that I’ve started to understand a little more about who my Mum was as a woman, a person, a human being. Let me tell you a little bit about her. Mum had a calling on her life to care for those with dis-ease and the dying. She worked some 25 years at a nursing home as a personal care attendant and I remember how she bought so much joy into the otherwise mundane lives of the nursing home residents.
After many years of this work mum decided to pursue formal studies in massage therapy and reflexology at an evening college. It’s only been in the last 18 months when I started going through Mum’s college material that I realised how similar our interests are. Our study paths are almost identical. Like Mum I have been studying acupuncture points, meridians, muscle function, Chinese facial diagnosis and flower remedies. I’ve even been able to make use of Mum’s old text books, reference charts and her massage table in my kinesiology practice..
Today as Jon and I were driving away from Sevilla I suddenly remembered how important gardening was for my Mum. I remembered how she had a special area at the side of the house that we used to call “sick bay”. Mum would find diseased and dying plants at garage sales and garden shops for a few cents and nurse them back to health. It was this thought that made my eyes swell up with tears in recognition of the qualities and interests that I inherited from my Mother. I too have a passion for gardening. I want to learn how to become more self sufficient by growing a vegetable garden. I want to be able to have my garden just outside my kitchen window and pick my herbs and vegetables straight from the source.
When anyone looses a loved one it’s difficult not to keep asking ourselves “Why? Why did they have to die?” And I certainly asked this question for a long time. Eventually my thoughts shifted to a new question. You see I believe we all have some purpose to fulfil here on planet Earth so my question changed to “What was Mum’s purpose?” Perhaps I’ll never know the answer to that question but as I reflect now on what I’ve written in this post I can’t help thinking that perhaps it had something to do with planting seeds that would would be harvested in the next generation. I remember a quote that kind of touches on this . . . “We save our greatest aspirations for our children“.
I can’t say why I felt so compelled to share such personal reflections with you but I hope you find some meaning for them in your own life.
Until next, Dani x