Today it dawned on me like never before how the things that are most important to me in life very much reflect the aspirations of my Mother. My Mum Julia passed on from this life seven years ago at the young age of 58. I loved my Mum deeply, and as a mother I knew her intimately . . . . but at times since her passing I’ve wondered how much a really knew or understood her as a person. I mean as an individual without the roles and responsibilities that come with raising a family. Who was my mother really with out all of this?
This is a question that perhaps we don’t think to ask about our parents. As children (no matter what our age) many of us tend to view our parents as perpetual helpers and support mechanisms for our own lives, as opposed to individuals with their own interests and goals to pursue.
It’s only recently that I’ve started to understand a little more about who my Mum was as a woman, a person, a human being. Let me tell you a little bit about her. Mum had a calling on her life to care for those with dis-ease and the dying. She worked some 25 years at a nursing home as a personal care attendant and I remember how she bought so much joy into the otherwise mundane lives of the nursing home residents. After many years of this work mum decided to pursue formal studies in massage therapy and reflexology at an evening college. It’s only been in the last 18 months when I started going through Mum’s college material that I realised I’d been studying many of the same subjects. Acupuncture points, meridians, muscle function, Chinese facial diagnosis and flower remedies. I’ve even been able to use some of Mum’s old text books, reference charts and the massage table she bought when I was in my teens.
I also have a significant interest in organic gardening and learning how to become more self sufficient by growing a vegetable garden (funny that, as I’m now a “Gardner” by marriage). Anyway this interest in gardening has grown (pardon the pun) in importance for me over the past year and this is what has bought on all this nostalgia about my Mum. . . .
Today as Jon and I were driving away from Sevilla I suddenly remembered how important gardening was for my Mum. I remembered how she had a special area at the side of the house that we used to call ”sick bay”. This is because Mum would find diseased and dying plants at garage sales and garden shops for next to nothing and nurse them back to health. It was this thought that made my eyes swell up with tears in recognition of the qualities and interests that I inherited from my Mum.
When anyone looses a loved one it’s difficult not to keep asking ourselves “Why? Why did they have to die?” and I certainly asked this question for a long time. Eventually my thoughts shifted to new questions however. You see I believe we all have some purpose to fulfil on the Earth so my question changed to “What was Mum’s purpose?”. Perhaps I’ll never know the answer to that question but as I reflect now on what I’ve written in this post . . . I can’t help thinking that perhaps it had something to do with planting seeds that would would be harvested in the next generation. I remember a quote that kind of touches on this . . . “We save our greatest aspirations for our children“.
I can’t say why I felt so compelled to share such personal reflections with you but I hope you find some meaning for them in your own life. Until next time, besos x x